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| The material in this blog does not reflect official policy or the opinion of any police force but it does however represent my personal opinion on whatever is posted here. |
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| Favourite Quotes |
| "The new police recruits. Call them slobs. Call them jerks. Call them gross. Just don't call them when you're in trouble." - Police ACademy, 1984
"To be yourself in a world that is constantly trying to make you something else is the greatest accomplishment" - Ralph Waldo Emerson
"You only have to do a very few things right in your life so long as you don't do too many things wrong" - Warren Buffett
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| How do you deal with it? |
| Thursday, 22 November 2007 |
I saw a man die.
I've seen dead people before, I've had several people close to me die and I remember their grey, cold bodies lying in the coffin, I just had never seen someone dying before. He was lying on the floor, paramedics around him giving CPR, oxygen and the lot. His shirt was open, he wore a grey suit that had dirt marks where he had fallen. His shoes looked expensive but I could see from the soles that they were quite worn. He looked young, too young to be having a heart attack, I thought to myself. I wasn't quite sure of what to do and for a brief moment all my training had gone out of the window. I can deal with people running away and being mouthy but what do you do when someone is dying right before your eyes? The paramedics were desperately trying to keep him alive, enough to take him to hospital but then I heard the words, uttered in sheer desperation, that they had lost him. One of the paramedics gave me his wallet and I suddenly felt bad about going through it. Was it because I wasn't in uniform or on duty? Maybe, but it was more to do with the fact that this person had already been deprived of every bit of dignity that he had, he didn't need someone going through his personal belongings but it just had to be done. I regretted opening it almost immediately. There was a picture of him, a woman and a young child. My heart nearly broke and I could feel my eyes watering. Someone had to phone her and I just knew I couldn't do it. It wasn't my job to do it anyway, unless I was with my tutor so I had to phone control. Once I did what I had to do I felt a bit lost...so what now? Having watched this man die while I helplessly stood by do I just carry on like nothing happened? And with that I rang my tutor to tell him I was going to be late and continued to make my way because in all honesty, how else do you deal with it? |
posted by bawpc @ 20:02  |
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| It wasn't meant to be... |
| Saturday, 17 November 2007 |
When we said we would make a name for ourselves we didn't quite mean it like that. So when my team came in talking about stopping Jade Goody it sounded good enough but when we turned to page 3 of The Sun the next day only to find a picture, oh boy, that had to go on the board in the mess room...
I think we'll be remembered...
P**S: I was tagged, so here we go...
So here we go...
8 passions in my life
# My close friends
# My granny
# My goddaughter M
# Photography
# My job
# Dogs
# My Ipod
# Private A
8 things to do before I die
# Bungee jump
# Apologise to those I've unwittingly hurt
# Be able to tell my parents I love them and actually mean it
# Forgive more
# Love myself
# Go travelling around South America
# Have faith in myself
# Fall in love
8 things I often say
# "Bless your heart"
# "You alright pet?"
# "Aye"
# "Why do I put myself through this?"
# "F**k" this and "F**k" that
# "Unbe-f**k**g-lievable"
# "I miss you"
# "When are you coming home again?"
8 books I read recently (not all were read recently but the last 8 that I remember)
# Please Daddy, No: A Boy Betrayed by Stuart Howarth
# Up All Night: Adventures in Lesbian Sex
# Blackstone's Student Officer Handbook
# Wasting Police Time by David Copperfield
# Not For the Faint Hearted by John Stevens
# Anybody Out There by Marian Keyes
# Story of O by Pauline Reage
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8 songs that mean something to me
# Hey there Delilah - Plain White T's
# The World's Greatest - R. Kelly
# The Blowers Daughter - Damien Rice
# Somewhere Over The Rainbow - Eva Cassidy
# Feels Like Home - Chantal Kreviazuk
# Like The Way I Do - Melissa Etheridge
# I'm a Believer - Smash Mouth
# Brown Eyed Girl - Van Morrison
8 qualities I look for in a friend
# Honesty - for I've lived with liars all my life
# Reliability
# Companionship
# The ability to laugh at themselves
# Cheekiness in the right amount
# Confidence
# Happiness
# A sense of humour |
| posted by bawpc @ 23:00 |
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| A child in uniform... |
| Saturday, 10 November 2007 |
This has got to be the strangest week of my life. I went from being a semi-alcoholic irresponsible ladette/student to becoming a police officer. Putting the uniform on again was a blessing but also very strange. I felt like I was back at the police traning centre with people watching me very closely but this was in a different environment and for different reasons. This is the first stage of the professional development unit which lasts three weeks...after that it's back to university again for some more studenty life, but I don't wanna think about that now.
My tutor is a very keen forty something bloke who's been in the job for some 18 years. He knows his s**t and that's the only way I can describe him. He's a great bloke and thankfully we're getting on like a house in fire and I know I'll learn a lot from him. My partner is also a great bloke who will be based with me at the end of the training so we're really enjoying working together. He's tall, very, very tall...towers over anyone so it's quite comforting going out with him, all 5'6" of me and him :-D. I just know he will stick up for me if I ever need it.
My working week started on Tuesday and I was on lates all week, working from 12pm to 10pm. The first day was all about admin, paperwork and IT which suited me just fine as I was freaking out about going out in the uniform. Wednesday was a different day altogether. We stepped out soon after the beginning of the shift and oh my...I could almost taste fear in my mouth. I had this little cold sweat tickling down the back of my neck and I was feeling very bothered. We went to various locations in and around London. I did a few vehicle checks and one or two section 44 searches. It was nerve wrecking. My mouth was dry and the words just wouldn't come out properly. I wasn't sure I could speak English anymore and my knees felt weak. I also noticed how I suddenly became a walking A-Z/information point/timetable/know it all. Only I didn't have a clue most of the time which people seemed quite happy with. By Thursday I was getting used to the uniform and to being stared at. Although when we left the police station in one big group of about 15 of us walking with purpose towards our final destination we got some funny looks. This was the day when I felt I really did some police work. About half an hour before home time there was an urgent assistance call on the radio for units to attend a location literally two minutes away from us. I had been in the computer room completing some of the paperwork and literally just flew out of the door. I could hear a very loud disturbance over the radio and it sounded like someone was in big trouble at the other end. Without a care in the world I just run, forgetting that I had taken my belt off to go to the toilet and not put it back on. It's funny how adrenaline pumping through your body can help at times. I never run so fast in my life, knowing that every minute mattered. I wasn't far behind my tutor and my skipper who just flew out of the door. We got there within seconds and got into a scrap with the people involved. It didn't take long to sort it out, there was three of them and 15 of us. I was actually glad I didn't have my belt because it made running and rolling around a lot easier, even if less safe. I left the others to deal with the rest once it had calmed down and returned to the station, blood pumping throuhg my body leaving me in a very excited state...I just didn't want the shift to come to an end. Safe to say that it took me a couple of hours to calm down after that and I just had to wake my housemates up when I got in to tell them all about it. Friday was a lot quieter, much to my disappointment, with only the small possibility of me ending up doing cordon duties all night around the scene of a sus death. Thankfully I didn't because by the end of the shift I was ready to go to the pub and then home, straight to bed. It all caught up with me because I went to sleep at 3am and didn't wake up again until 3pm this afternoon...but I feel ready to go again :-D |
| posted by bawpc @ 20:42 |
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| Check me out... |
| Wednesday, 7 November 2007 |
 I had my first day on shifts yesterday and having worked 9 - 5 for the past 18 months you can imagine how difficult it was to stay awake! Hopefully today will be easier, except my little legs are very sore. Again, having come from a desk bound job it didn't atke a lot to make my legs ache...So standing on them for long period of hours is enough, hopefully I'll get used to that too!!!
So you can imagine I woke up looking something like this this morning. I don't remember ever noticing how comfortable my bed is until this morning...except for the half of me that was hanging off one side of the bed everything else was spot on...I wish I could have stayed there all day but I have baddies to catch :-D.
Will tell you all about my first day in uniform when I get more time to write... |
| posted by bawpc @ 09:10 |
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| On the other hand... |
| Saturday, 3 November 2007 |
I just love bonfire night and firework displays. It is the one time of the year when I just get all excited and jump up and down like a little kid. I think it's a wonderful time of the year when you get together with friends and loved ones and just look up to the sky in awe. It really fills my heart with love when I'm watching the fireworks and it makes me a much warmer person than I really am, although that could be my dangerously close proximity to the bonfire :-D. I also found that I'm one of the few people, that I know of, who loves it so much and it makes me feel weird. I'm not weird alone though, last night there was about 40.000 others 'awwing' in Clapham Common. I don't like crowds and I believe that events of this kind and size are just a controlled area for criminals to operate in but I do make an exception for bonfire night. I'm going to Battersea Park tonight...it used to be real nice there, and there is a side to it that still is but the shaddy side is filled with drug dealers and users and the gang warfare is beginning to become custom around the darker estates.
Battersea Park is always going to be a place that I will go back to as I have some very fond memories of some fun times out there. It's where I used to go running for my fitness tests and it's where I used to go when I needed a real good cry although I don't do the latter anymore. It was the first park I took my goddaughter to, she was only 6 months old at the time and it was the beginning of summer. I still take her there a few times a year. It was there that for the first time I fell in a public pond/lake whilst mocking about. It was there that I discovered great friendships that I still have close to me to this day. It will be a fun night tonight...even if a little melancholic!
On a more positive note Private A is home this weekend which put a big smile on my face. I've seen very little of him since he moved bases up north and it's making things very difficult. So not only do I have a whole essay to write this weekend, because I really want to get it handed in and out of my sight before I go out on Tuesday, but I also have to find time to go for lunch at his parents tomorrow and have a bit of a life. I haven't even looked at my uniform for about 6 weeks and I'm worrying it won't even fit me, let alone how weird I'll look in it, once again. I need to get my act together soon...I hate having to prioritize... |
| posted by bawpc @ 16:09 |
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| About Me |
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Name: bawpc
Home: London, United Kingdom
About Me: I know how to let my hair down, I know when to be responsible, I drink, I party, I understand committment, I dread relationships, I dream and I cry when my dreams don't come true. I'm young, yet grown up, I'm scared yet brave, I'm pretty yet the little ugly duckling, I can love, I know how to hate, I'm passionate, compassionate, impatient, fiery. I share, I talk, I love (again), I like to be on my own, I like companionship. I'm complicated...because I'm only human.
See my complete profile
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