| Disclaimer |
| The material in this blog does not reflect official policy or the opinion of any police force but it does however represent my personal opinion on whatever is posted here. |
| Police Blogs |
|
| Other Blogs |
|
Cheeky Faces
Annette's Blog
Random Acts of Reality
|
| Favourite Quotes |
| "The new police recruits. Call them slobs. Call them jerks. Call them gross. Just don't call them when you're in trouble." - Police ACademy, 1984
"To be yourself in a world that is constantly trying to make you something else is the greatest accomplishment" - Ralph Waldo Emerson
"You only have to do a very few things right in your life so long as you don't do too many things wrong" - Warren Buffett
|
|
| That dreaded knock... |
| Saturday, 29 March 2008 |
It was 23:31 when my finger reached the bell...a few seconds later I tried once more. It had to be done...there was no way out of this.
Eventually the door opened.
Sometime later I found myself in their living room and saying the dreaded words "Unfortunately I have some bad news to give you. I'm afraid there's been a fatal accident in which your daughter was involved." I could hear my voice shaking at every other word that I said and knew that I had to find a way to control myself.
The worst was yet to come, giving the details that could be given and answering the the questions that could be answered. Eventually I managed to get some sort of control over my emotions and was able to give them the information they requested.
They were calm and controlled...mum did most of the talking and dad just sat there with a look on his face that I'm still trying to work out. Was it pain? Resentment? Guilt? I will never know...
We stand up and decide it was time to leave and as we do so the mum says "She has two children, you know? What is gonna happen with them?" Myself and my tutor just stood still in the middle of the hallway, I felt a lump in my throat and noticed that my tutor's shoulders dropped a little. "I'm so very sorry" was the only thing I could come up with, but it seemed to be enough. We left the house and drove the 60 something miles back to London in silence.
As I get home and close my front door I sit on the floor, in full uniform, and just cry. I cry for the family who just lost a loved one, I cry for the tragic way it happened, I cry for the way they had to be informed, I cry for the loved ones I have lost in the past and I cry for everything else that has upset me in the recent weeks. All of a sudden I have become an emotional mess.
She was a drug addict, an alcoholic and a thief but she was also a mother of two, 29 years old, to be 30 in a few days, a daughter and sister and most importantly a human being but she was her own worst enemy.
I have not been properly trained to do this and I wasn't prepared for it but you just take it on the chin and move on...hopefully tonight I'll be able to forget the picture of her on the tracks and of everything else that happened on Thursday night! Hopefully I will be better prepared for when it happens again...because it will, it's just a matter of time! |
posted by bawpc @ 00:33  |
|
| 7 Comments: |
-
As Jim Reeves said, "Welcome to my world"!
I don't think it ever gets any easier for decent people to have to break such news. We just have to get over it as best as we can. Usually at home afterwards!
-
Have had to do this a couple of times the worst of which was when my gran died and I was in the house when it happened. I was two weeks into the job and was visiting for the weekend. I dealt with the local police and I had to phone my mum to let her know. I was speaking to her and the phone just went silent as she passed it over to my Dad. The death never hit home until her funeral.
Its never easy especially when they are young and its unexpected. The best way is just to talk it over with workmates or a good friend.
-
Thats awful wannabe, my thoughts are with you.
Take care.
xxx
-
Hey - just discovered your blog, nice one.
As for the call, you have my sympathy. I took a brand new officer to an unexpected death message recently and he asked how I did it so easily - the truth is that part of the job never gets "easy," and I'm glad.
Although it's horrible, sometimes you need to embrace your humanity.
Drop us an email (it's on my blog front page) if you want to shout about crap like this, I'm sure the vast majority of police bloggers would extend that offer. It's important to keep friends and family close, but sometimes only someone that has been through it understands.
Go girl!
Area
PS- I will be adding you to my blog list on my blog, if you have no objections.
-
What a moving post. Thank you for sharing it. I guess the day it stops being hard to do that aspect of your work is the day you should quit...
Ax
-
Wanna - your not alone.
http://totallyun-pc.blogspot.com/2007/03/ive-seen-death.html
I dug this out from 2007, don't know if you ever saw it... but theres stuff on there, and comments to match that will find you peace.
I wish I could say they go... you might forget the names.... but the faces stay with you!
XXXX TUPC
-
Not an easy job, I remember reading about it in the paper, it will stay with you a long time as no words offer comfort at such a time. Only the compassion and sincerity you had will stay with them for longer.
Take Care
Sage
|
| |
| << Home |
| |
|
|
|
| About Me |
|
Name: bawpc
Home: London, United Kingdom
About Me: I know how to let my hair down, I know when to be responsible, I drink, I party, I understand committment, I dread relationships, I dream and I cry when my dreams don't come true. I'm young, yet grown up, I'm scared yet brave, I'm pretty yet the little ugly duckling, I can love, I know how to hate, I'm passionate, compassionate, impatient, fiery. I share, I talk, I love (again), I like to be on my own, I like companionship. I'm complicated...because I'm only human.
See my complete profile
|
A little bit more |
|
| Previous Post |
|
| Archives |
|
| Links |
|
|
| Powered by |
 |
|
As Jim Reeves said, "Welcome to my world"!
I don't think it ever gets any easier for decent people to have to break such news. We just have to get over it as best as we can. Usually at home afterwards!